deviant ART

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~qotastic:iconqotastic:

Qo  

  • Status: Member
  • Wise Ass
  • Female/United States
  • Offline for 2h 25m 12s
  • Deviant since Jul 12, 2004, 10:18 AM
  • 157 Deviations
  • 84 Scraps [browse]
  • 630 Deviation Comments
  • 214 Deviant Comments
  • 3 News Comments
  • 9,306 Pageviews

Life

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 17, 2008, 7:09 PM
  • Mood: Shitty
  • Listening to: pandora.com (holy, fucking, shit GOTHERENOW!)
  • Reading: The Dark Tower Series
  • Watching: Paradise Kiss
Matilda is dying. She was suddenly struck with some sort of neurological disorder, probably a brain tumor. Monday afternoon I noticed she seemed to be having a little trouble getting around her cage, stumbling and slipping her front feet between the bars. By tuesday afternoon it had progressed to her being unable to hold any food with her front feet, so me and my mother bought some baby food and proceeded to spoon feed her.

Wednesday night she could hardly keep her head upright, but her appetite for babyfood was pretty good and we continued regular feedings.

Tonight, she's just a limp wisp in my hand... and very uninterested in anything foodish, and more wanting to eat tissues and the towel I had her sitting on. Her limbs are pretty much useless now, and when I pick her up she barely moves. Yet she still tries to nuzzle into my neck...

She's also developed a small lump near her rectum, I fear a cyst... which seems to be impeding her bowel movements, and she seems to be running a fever.

Sophie is doing the same thing Artemis did when Spunky got sick. She's moping, and sticking extra close to Matilda (keeping her warm I hope...) but she's also been exceedingly rough with her thorough cleanings of 'Tilda's face when she comes back from a feeding. I caught her biting her lip last night...

I never thought I would hope such a thing, but I just wish she would pass in her sleep, and I hope she goes tonight. I couldn't hardly even stand to handle her tonight, or to watch her struggle to eat watered-down baby food only to become uninterested after a few licks... it hurts me so much. She's as limp as a ragdoll, and yet she tries so hard, and she won't give up.

I started training for my new position at work this week, but I can't get out early or I'll miss the important stuff (i.e. I ask to leave early and they say no...) and I don't want to lose my spot. I need to talk to the vet before I can just send someone to take her because most offices don't use gas before the needle injection, because their bodies are so tiny they need to inject the euthenizing agent directly into their hearts and this can be a terribly painful way to die... so they must be sedated first. I have to find out first, because I can't let them just take her in the back and do it wrong...

I can't stand it, I've never felt so helpless in my entire life. I can't sleep, I'm so terrified and worried for her. Part of me wants to get up and go to her cage and find her gone, and part of me wants her to still be there, and ALL of me wishes that this had never happened, or that I had noticed all the symptoms earlier so I could have done something to prevent it... anything but this.

So all my good news about how happy I am that I got the new position at work, and how fun it's supposed to be just turned to shit.

And they're only 2 months shy of their second birthday. She's still so young... I hate it. If they weren't such amazing animals... you would have thought I'd learned my lesson the first time around. And each time, it's getting worse.

:\

I don't even know what else to say.

Edit: She was humanely euthenized at 9am on friday, april 18th. I miss my little angel already, but she is in such a better place now... :(

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 22
  • Current Residence: Pittsburgh, PA
  • Interests: Anime, Drawing (sometimes), sleeping, cheeese.
  • Favourite movie: Equilibrium, Sin City, Dark City, 300
  • Favourite band or musician: Yay for random techno artists!
  • Favourite genre of music: Techno/Electronica, Vocal Trance
  • Favourite artist: Alyse
  • Favourite poet or writer: Orsen Scott Card
  • Favourite photographer: Kathy. :3
  • Favourite style or digital art: I <3 shinys!
  • Operating System: For the love of GOD, and all that is holy, MY WINDOWS IS BLEEDING!
  • MP3 player of choice: WINDOWZ MEDIA PLEYAR
  • Shell of choice: Conch
  • Wallpaper of choice: Blackjack... <3
  • Skin of choice: My own.
  • Favourite game: Starcraft, THE SIMS 2!!!, PSO (f-u WoW...!)
  • Favourite gaming platform: GAMECUBE
  • Favourite cartoon character: Blackjack... duh.
  • Personal Quote: Douche bag. Douche-ee McBaggerson. Oh you startled me with that witty quip! Douché!
  • Tools of the Trade: My fist.

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~lolsaywut:iconlolsaywut: Apr 12, 2008, 7:02:23 AM
um.
i ruv your ports. ;_;

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no no.
~Lokivia:iconLokivia: Apr 11, 2008, 8:22:16 AM
Yay!
I'm so glad you would. ^.^
Let me know when you'd like to/ have the time to do collabs or trades! I'm always free so.. haha! <33
And thanks for the watch!
Eeeee! <3333

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I could shout your name a million times and still let it ring, I could shout your name a million ways and my heart will always sing..
*Temrin:iconTemrin: Apr 10, 2008, 9:51:31 PM
Thank you for visiting! <3

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I know i wont grow any taller... I have accepted that but i just like to complain about it >=3
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Apr 10, 2008, 8:11:01 AM
kjflksjdlkjflksjd trades!!
lkjdlkjdlfkgjlkdjfgfdkjlkjfgmnsdfpotimdfnmsbeioye collabs!!!

LOL.. I'd love to! :D

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:D I am going to eat you now! :D
~Lokivia:iconLokivia: Apr 9, 2008, 7:59:53 AM Mood: Love
Om nom nom.
Your ports are fantastic.
You can shade so well.
Wish I could shade. ; ;
If you take art trades, and you have any interest in my art.. ;D

We should do collabs. >>

Hahaaa. >>;

<333

XoXoX
<3

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I could shout your name a million times and still let it ring, I could shout your name a million ways and my heart will always sing..
*Choker-Chain:iconChoker-Chain: Apr 9, 2008, 7:05:48 AM
Ahoy! Feel like coloring? Join the Competition:

[link]

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Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web: Soon lead to undoing of fly.
~Ebonfire:iconEbonfire: Mar 29, 2008, 11:16:18 AM
You draw really nice ports :3 *watches*

And it's nice to meet another furc peep who owns rats :0 Yay cute ratties!

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“It's a sad thing not to have friends, but it is even sadder not to have enemies.” -Ernesto "Che" Guevara
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Mar 11, 2008, 5:50:31 PM
ilu long tiem.

WHEN YOU COMING HOME? I have stuff to tell you, and things to do to your body!!! :(

It's no fun only having my boobies to play with. Kelly punches, RB bites, lil' Rachel lives too far away, Micheal doesn't return phone calls and also just fails to show up.. and he lacks tits anyways.

I'm boobieless. GIMME. *grabbyhands*

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:D I am going to eat you now! :D
~leesers:iconleesers: Mar 10, 2008, 11:52:48 AM
I MISS YOU. ;_;

(ps: Midterms are this week so I'll be coming home for Spring Break soon. We better hang out and do delicious things. :heart:)
Hidden By Owner
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Feb 22, 2008, 11:35:23 PMComment hidden by Owner
This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.
=kiss-katy:iconkiss-katy: Feb 16, 2008, 9:01:35 PM
sup woman. thanks for the add. :heart:

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♬♫♪♩♬♩♪♫♬
MIXTAPELOVERS
*fritchie:iconfritchie: Feb 16, 2008, 1:09:41 AM Mood: Love
Thanks for the visit! Aww you have rats too!
~FaeKytten:iconFaeKytten: Feb 8, 2008, 4:17:48 AM
Hey...

I's on yer page...

leaving updated lurvings... <33
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Dec 9, 2007, 11:55:03 AM
How did I miss this comment?!

I'd be honored to do a trade with you.. I've loved your art since the first time I saw you on furcadia a couple years ago. :o

Artemis is just like.. so incredibly sexy. Gasp!

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:D I am going to eat you now! :D
~FaeKytten:iconFaeKytten: Dec 3, 2007, 9:15:41 PM
o.o I understand smexy.. my net died hardcore so I wasn't even on really if I wasn't anywhere but my own damn house. x.x

<33333 It can be my xmas present.. oh! Send me the info I gave you for it.. I have a crappy memory and can't even remember what I told ya to draw for me.
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Dec 3, 2007, 5:00:47 PM
YES. I swear to god.

Every time I sit down to draw it, shit explodes. I hate my computer sometimes...

ARGH. But seriously, I suck at this timing thing. LOL.

I'll have it for you before CHRISTMAS. And it will be epic.

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:D I am going to eat you now! :D
~FaeKytten:iconFaeKytten: Nov 30, 2007, 4:03:52 PM
*paws at* You still doing that kiriban for me? *sniffles*
~qotastic:iconqotastic: Nov 28, 2007, 12:43:52 PM
$10/10gd/2 spaces

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:D I am going to eat you now! :D
=Jing-Chan:iconJing-Chan: Nov 27, 2007, 12:42:13 PM
hey, thanks so much for the fav~! :boing:
~denniscmhmy:icondenniscmhmy: Nov 27, 2007, 11:37:43 AM
Hello, nice to meet you. I like your Deviations. I really enjoy it ^.^

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Don't be sad cause it ended , be happy cause it started
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Come visit my gallery when you are free! You are welcome. ^.^Y
~PugslyHasFriends:iconPugslyHasFriends: Nov 26, 2007, 4:10:07 PM
Omgawd. What do you charge for ports? :D I lubb them.

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La + La = La de da. :D
~FaeKytten:iconFaeKytten: Nov 15, 2007, 9:05:39 PM
<333 I disappeared for a while... >.>
*phantaz:iconphantaz: Nov 15, 2007, 3:18:25 PM
Thanks for visiting me =) again

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"Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do"
~ArtySick:iconArtySick: Nov 15, 2007, 11:59:29 AM Mood: Love
Thanks for the comment! I really like your art, we should consider an art trade!!

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"We all become the man we wish to marry"

Arty.